sorry, I can’t carry your burden for you

It had been a roller coaster of a week – some of the most gripping emotions that I have ever witnessed and encountered in my life. I collapsed in the kitchen of a friend’s house having left the pub earlier than most after the funeral. A knock came on the kitchen door. Mournful eyes gripped with alcohol and cocaine looked back at me. I opened the door for a friend of the family and she joined me in the silence of the kitchen. I had nothing left to give, nothing to offer. She poured out her heart.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~ Romans 8:38-39

There was no way that I could carry her burdens so I leaned on the only one who could carry both of ours in that moment. I asked her if I could pray. Agreeing, she let me place my hand on her arm and I spoke to the Father. The weight lifted and an indescribable peace seemed to fill me completely. It spread warmth that radiated throughout the whole room. I haven’t a clue what I all prayed in that moment but I remember there was no doubt that there was more going on than a few words to a made up God. Every sorrow was replaced in that moment with a glimpse of heaven and pure beauty. We opened our eyes and looked at each other. “What was that?!” she asked, her eyes wide, “I have never felt anything like that in my life!”

For I am convinced that nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord – no substance, no circumstance, no mental illness, no trauma. He reaches the deeper places of our soul that are reserved for him alone. His love cuts through every possible barrier. They don’t stand a chance against it. My love looks nothing like it at the best of times, never mind when I have nothing left to give. I put all my weight on the Father’s love and it stands under the pressure of the heaviest burdens.

Although that evening in the kitchen was several years ago, it challenges me still. 

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